Lately things about my past have come to the surface...
May it be... a discussion about my previous work experience in fashion and special events with a co-worker..
Or perhaps clarifying rumours with an old elementary school friend....
Whatever the topics may have been... there seems to be a focus of discussion on catching up with old friends, or perhaps introducing myself to new people.
The thing that struck me after each of these conversations was always the same...
Thank God change is constant, and who I was even 3 years ago, is LIGHT YEARS away of who I am today.
I have often stated that I have lived a life of no regrets.. and honestly, I do stand by that statement.
The things I have done, experienced, and gone through have made me the person I am today... and perhaps I didn't obtain fame, that I so desperately coveted in my early 20's... but I can wake up every morning, and look in the mirror and be ok with the person looking back at me.
One of the things that jumped out at me during meditation this time around, was change.. and the people we know... sometimes we automatically have a thought in our head about a person... maybe its good, maybe its bad... this could be due to something that was said about this person, something the person directly did... etc..
What they stressed in meditation was... this is still not a true test or measure of who that person really is... good people can do bad things, bad people can sometimes show random acts of kindness... but who we really are is something that constantly changes from moment to moment.
So the task I have set for myself is this... try to think outside of how I feel about a person depending on my thoughts surrounding them... and experience them for the first time (fresh eyes if you will) each time I come into contact with them.
This may conjure up feelings of... why do I consider this person a close friend really... or why again was it that I think this person wasn't great?
Lately I have surprised myself with who I am reconnecting with in my life... and who I have lost touch with due to a busy life on both ends....
Either way... I'm more comfortable with the ebb n flow of life these days.. and am truly grateful that 'this too shall pass'
Saturday, January 31, 2009
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"who I was even 3 years ago, is LIGHT YEARS away of who I am today.” To me denotes that you have grown a lot, but that somehow your old self seems a bit foreign to you. Then you say: “The things I have done, experienced, and gone through have made me the person I am today” The way I see it is that we are like these puzzles and every month you are adding a piece to the puzzle of self-actualization. Each of those pieces is highly valuable in making you. The way I see it (and I am just an anonymous blogger) is that sometimes you need one piece to figure out where to put these other four puzzle pieces in their spot in the puzzle that is you. Maybe you are just able to put more pieces down at once now. Throughout our lives we gradually learn to communicate more effectively (my older friends are always marveling how they are still growing emotionally) The rewards are immediate. These recent hurdles of growth that you talk of are maybe the ones you notice the most because you have been looking for them. Maybe you fixed something you have always wanted to change about yourself and want everyone to know! (Sometimes I get embarassed that some realizations took me so long to come to.) When you learned how to smile for instance this lesson paved your way into many hearts over the years n'es ce-pas? Or maybe you learned one day how to stand up for the kid being picked on in your school even if kids laughed at you for doing so. You maybe needed this random event to define you as someone who will stand by your core principles. Perhaps it was when you learned the coolest dance step ever and it gave you confidence to learn more and dance away in front of everyone. Maybe this burst of confidence was the seed you needed to get going. Each moment in our life could be a seed for another moment.(or a puzzle piece. I am all about the analogies today) Are you sure you are “light years” away after three years? There are cause and effect patterns in personal growth. I might think you are just further along towards your goals, but three years ago you were trying to figure out what goals you wanted. Each part of the process is important. If an engineer spend 100 days designing something and then one day to build it, that engineers project was 101 days long.
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