Recently, I have been present to many different people in situations where they are blaming others. Usually this blame is placed in defense of a behaviour or action from the blamer.
Blame bothers me.
The reason it does, is it's usually someone trying to rationalize extreme behaviour - or at times, to keep themselves out of trouble.
Blaming reminds me of young siblings, busy blaming their brother or sister, as to appear like the 'good/golden' child, and cast the other in a less-than-perfect light.
Blaming reminds me of self-esteem or self-worth.
Something I have always wanted to research and write an essay about is self-esteem.
I personally believe that self-esteem can be linked for almost every evil of the world.
Perhaps this might sound like a gross exaggeration... but hear me out.
One of the examples I use for this argument is our ol' favourite... G.W. Bush.
Never have I seen a man in the public eye in the last few years so hated.
...and don't misunderstand me... he's definitely NOT on my top 10 favourite people list. At all.
I think the man is/was dangerous, dim-witted, and downright ignorant. ... but I digress.
I'm not focusing on his intellect, or lack thereof.
This was a man, who ran one of the most powerful countries in the world.. if not THE most powerful country in the world.
He waged wars, ruled with greed and dollar signs in his eyes, and generally wreaked havoc on the world. It was tragic.
A lot of people deem him evil, idiotic, simple, and the list of un-pleasantries goes on.
In my opinion, this all stems from low self esteem.
Let's break it down.
Greed - Why do people want what they want? To live in luxury? Sure. To have an easier life? Sure. I can bet though, that greed in part, is from self-worth. How do you measure up? Will your parents approve? Will more people like you if you have more?
In a study at the University of Waterloo by Danu Anthony, he links self-esteem with appearance.
"People's self-esteem is most strongly tied to traits such as physical appearance, social skills and popularity," says the Anthony.
Anthony goes on to say that, "People state emphatically that it is 'what's inside' that counts and encourage their children not to judge others based on appearances, yet they revere attractive people to an astonishing degree."
Are we to think that beautiful people have more self-esteem than regular folks?
I'm not sure about that, as having worked in the Fashion Industry, specifically with runway models, I witnessed more self-esteem issues than I knew what to do with.
Yet, we are prone to trust a beautiful person rather than a plain-Jane. Why else would advertisers use models and actors to sell their products? We trust them.
It seems like this concept isn't necessarily for self, but for them. We feel, that if someone is beautiful, than they MUST have a higher self-esteem.
But let's go back to lack of self-esteem being a factor in the evils and wrong-doings of life.
Esteem allows you to respect yourself, make good decisions, gives you the courage to try new things, and the power to believe in yourself.
What I find interesting is the fine line between low/high esteem.
Think about that person that appears to have really really high self-esteem. They are insufferable at times right? It's usually a veneer. They are the wizard behind the curtain, desperately trying to dazzle you with their 'wonderful being' while behind the curtain, they are hurting, and overwhelmed with low self-worth.
Perhaps at times, it's really tough to see this fact, but generally speaking these larger than life, cocky egoists, are lacking in the self-respect, and good decision making. Sound familiar?
Esteem paves the way to how we conduct ourselves in our daily lives.
In worst cases of low-self-worth, people become self-centered, without even meaning to. They are so obsessed with how they don't measure up, how they are yet again screwing things up in their life, that it becomes almost obsessive. They cocoon themselves, and retreat from participating in daily activities, and it can even snowball into severe depression.
The media preys on our low self-esteem - and even go as far as "greenwashing" to ease our guilt, and attempt to puff us up, and make us feel like we're at least doing some good in the world... even if we don't have whiter teeth, thinner body, or shinier hair.
They toy with our esteem and emotions, and create a push-pull situation, where some of us are so susceptible to their suggestion, that we are becoming puppets on strings.
This ties into my discontent with mega-stores, and advertising on a whole. We are manipulated and targeted on our weaknesses, and in result, we follow into the cycle of over consumption, greed, and blaming others.
We all sit and wonder, what can we do? How can we help?
The solution has been said to start with us, and from what I can tell... Boosting your self-worth to healthy is an excellent start.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
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