Love thyself... Love thy thighs?

I always thought since that I *finally* became comfy in my own skin at the age of 30, that wonderful turning point would have been it. Case closed. Done and done.

I struggled and struggled for YEARS - a lifetime with body image, how I measured up, obsessing about my weight mostly...

It's no secret if you've met me... I've always been a "curvy" gal.. I have never been in the waif category... nor will I probably be ever... for years.. this bothered me. It did. Truly.

I longed to be rail thin.. something I wasn't. I wanted my hip bones to jut out and protrude out of my skin... (I also wanted to be taller, but I really had NO hope of EVER obtaining this dream - so I quickly just let that one go).

Something happened however, as I came closer to the age of 30... My thoughts began to shift... I read more and more books on acceptance, and hung out with more women who loved themselves... "as is" ... Women all shapes and sizes... Celebrating themselves...

I eventually came into contact with an amazing group of ladies known as Sweet Soul Burlesque: http://www.sweetsoulburlesque.ca/
If you haven't had the pleasure... please do check them out. They kick some major ass.

The woman that I really admired 100% was Crystal Precious... OMFG!  This gal *was* SASSY! ...and.. and.. HOT! ... and.. and... NOT a size effin 0! (Please note - I love all you naturally beautiful size 0 ladies... no offense)

I could like this gal. Shit... I could LOVE THIS WOMAN!

As timed marched on, I watched Crystal perform and own that stage like few have...
She had them begging for more...
Men, Women... it really didn't matter... They loved her!
...and really... if you've ever had the pleasure of watching Mz. Precious perform.. it's really no mystery what the appeal is...

Naturally, this led me to ask myself the obvious question... what the hell was my issue? If I could admire others celebrating their body... why couldn't I?

What made me different?

Ohhh we *are* our own worst critics aren't we? *sigh*

Around my 30th birthday I had a mini-conversation with myself that basically went something like this:

"Look sweetie, you just aren't Christy Turlington http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christy_Turlington.. and well, you can either go through life being completely miserable about that fact with a scowl on your face (read: NOT ATTRACTIVE), OR.. you can suck it up and be the best damn you with a freakin' smile on your face, and glow"

That seemed to work for quite awhile actually...

Yet, here I sit almost 4 years later... far away from the Sass... and being 30.. and those damn lingering thoughts come back...

...and before you dare start sending me recipes... I eat quite healthy thank you very much... and no, I don't want your "super amazing exercise regime" that helped you lose those pesky 15lbs. Thank you though! xo

I'm an advocate of loving your body/self "as is" ... right here... right now... in this moment...

I suppose like happiness, self acceptance requires work... it's not something you just roll out of bed, fresh as a daisy, and are like.. "Wow, that's easy! Look at me go!"

It's something that we need to remind ourselves.. that we are bombarded daily with media and advertising, and there is generally a tiny man behind the curtain peddling this notion of us gals not measuring up, just to sell some wares of "this new diet fad, or this new damn pill.... here take this... "
....and while we're on the subject of diet pills... Am I the ONLY one who thinks the instructions for these things are RIDICULOUS?!
"Take 3-5 horse pills with 1-2 large glasses of water followed by 3 healthy meals a day and exercise regularly and you too shall see wonderful results...!" ...Um... pardon me for being cynical... but... you could have saved yourself the horse pills... and just drank the water, ate the meals... and did the exercise bit... and um... hey, guess what? ACHIEVED THE SAME RESULTS!!!
 ...and there's of course that 20 year old self in my head that is smirking away thinking... 'I just downed 3-5 horse pills and didn't even SEE a magical glittery pink horse galloping around?? Pffffft... no thanks!'

All old debauchery aside... I digress...

I suppose I will just have to be more diligent with my gentle reminding of myself that curves do indeed kick some major ass ... and hey, as any woman in a corset proves.. they can even be downright sexy!