Signs...

Recently, things have been falling into place for me... I chose a direction in life, and have started to follow that... Sounds easy enough right? Well... erm... sure... if we decide not to get in our own way... or dare I say... the plan the Universe has for us..

I noticed this phenomena at first, when I applied for a position in Tokyo, Japan in 2006/2007... (on a whim I might add) ... Things in my life were a bit all over the place, and I really didn't feel a connection to much in my life as they were.. I had just come back from spending a month with my Mom who had been recovering from a stroke, and she was stable... my relationship was circling the drain, and my career at that time, was stagnant... I needed a change... Upon coming back I also learned that my apartment had been broken into just mere days before my return home... anything of value was gone, and all my things were turned upside down. 

After many MANY months of pressure from friends I joined the all-too-popular social networking site, that we all know and love/hate; Facebook... and stumbled upon a long lost friend, who's network was Japan...
We caught up and I quickly learned that not only did one not need a full degree to teach in Japan if you were under a certain age and qualified, you could apply for a working holiday if you were under the age of 30.. My mind swam with this concept.. for a few reasons... 2007 marked my 30th year on the planet, and I had ALWAYS wanted to live abroad... of course, self doubt, and a million reasons of why this was an impossible task immediately flooded to the forefront of my mind... How could I pay for such a trip? Along with my stereo, etc, my birth certificate had been stolen when my apartment was broken into... I didn't even have a passport! (This was March of 2007)
By the first of April, I had an interview ... and two weeks later, I was told I was accepted, and the line I will never forget: "Welcome to Tokyo" ... I was ecstatic for about 15 minutes, then reality kicked into overdrive... and all those niggling thoughts came flooding back... and if I let it, I would have really potentially got in my own way... and ruined my chance to live abroad for good. Thankfully, I just kicked into some sort of overdrive, and wasn't letting anything stop me from experiencing this opportunity.

I quickly applied for my birth certificate, I stood in several hour long line ups for my passport, as my luck would have it, that was the same year that the American/Canadian border also decided we needed passports to cross into each other's countries.. *joy* I sometimes worked two jobs to fund this trip, and miraculously I was on a plane, with my apartment sublet, and someone taking care of my beloved dog, for a year... by the end of June... It all lined up. I put it out into the Universe, and it fell into place.... This isn't to say, that from the time I was accepted for the job in Tokyo from the time I boarded the plane was smooth sailing... Oh hell no...

I distinctly remember some of my friends asking me if I slept at all during that time... and my response always being the same: "I hear it's a long flight from Canada to Japan, I'll sleep on the plane". There were tears, there was sweat, more than a few of my friendships at times suffered... and felt the strain of me obtaining my goal...
But the true friends, always supported me, and knew how important this was to me, and understood if I was a bit hectic/nutty/bitchy/sleep deprived, during these months.

Now as I am about to embark on an even bigger undertaking which will no doubt take about 6-7 years of my life to obtain my goals, I am both excited and nervous... However, it's a familiar feeling... this feeling is almost parallel to my feelings of my preparation for Tokyo... mostly due to it being tangible I think... i.e. It's actually happening... and the Universe again, is lining up to help me along.. and I'm feeling it more and more each passing day. Which isn't to say, like Tokyo, that there aren't going to be road blocks to overcome, and it's not going to be challenging. This time, my goal is much larger, and instead of a sprint where I will reap the rewards in mere months, this is more like a long distance run... a marathon... I need to pace myself....

I think this is the part that makes me the most nervous... as I've always been a person who works well under pressure, thrives under it in fact... and can work with a really short dead line... ... heck, even as a kid, short distance sprints were my thing... Marathons were almost somewhat of an enigma to me... I have a deep respect for marathon runners, but always looked at them in almost awe like appreciation... but never in relation...

So as I embark on this new chapter in my life, I am doing my best to listen to the signs, and learning a new way to approach things... I know things are falling into place for a reason, and even a blind person could see all the signs pointing me in this direction... Now it's up to me, to not listen to the self-doubt, not get in my own way... and learn how to pace myself... one small step at a time.