Sometimes I get ahead of myself in my thinking...
Ok, I'm not special... I realize this.
I get myself all balled up though... I panic. I think about things like.. Wow, I've been off work from this accident for an awfully long time - these tests, and specialists sure are taking their time! Why does this have to be SUCH a process?!
Then my brain kicks into turbo mode, and it's off into panic highway...
What am I doing? Why is this taking so long?! How much longer will this take? What about when I want to get back into the work force? How will that look? What about my career? What about my bigger goals in life?
...and this inner monologue can continue to spiral for hours if I truly let it.
However, thankfully - by some small miracle... I don't.
There's a new tiny voice inside my head that whispers - breaaaaaaaaaaaathe.
It gently reminds me - It's gonna be ok...Things are happening for a reason.
I'm not entirely sure where this tiny voice came from, or even, how it's able to, for such a tiny voice, quiet down the rest of the mindless chatter that clings to panic highway so dearly... But... thankfully - the tiny voice prevails, and all the monkey chatter subsides, and the tiny ninja voice bows, and goes back to keeping harmony.
That's not to say, that this little voice doesn't have its work cut out for it... Oh... mama... it does...
I mean, i'd prefer to not have panic highway happen in my mind at all...
I'd prefer if tiny ninja voice didn't have to regularly kick some major ass, and just rule the roost generally...
...but for now... I'm grateful that it's at least there...picking up the pieces.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
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It's awesome that you have this voice. I think we all have that tendency to let our brains spin out of control and send us toppling into panic-land. It is definitely hard to stay in the present and not project into the future!
ReplyDeleteI'm finding it easier and easier these days to just find the pleasure in today - and know that things will work themselves out (not without a little effort from me - I know this at least). But, like you, I feel blessed to be able to take that moment and find the present. It's not easy to slow down once you're on the panic highway - but at least we are now equipped with brakes :)
On the flip-side... wouldn't it be cool to be able to stick your head out the window and enjoy the breeze once you found yourself on panic highway? I completely believe that there is a way to enjoy every uncomfortable situation ;)