Have you ever....?

...had one of those dreams, that you actually felt you were learning an important life lesson in it?

I just did, woke me completely out of a dead sleep too. Hence, posting at 3:40am, when I could be in bed snuggling with my fabulous wife.

I suppose, I should thank Karen Salmansohn for these important life lessons. I just read her book - Enough Dammit - A cynic's guide to finally getting what you want out of life.

Having already read her How to be Happy Dammit book, I knew her wisdom was something I could relate to, and was going to be thought provoking. Truth be told, I consider her How to be Happy Dammit book my bible. Seriously.

So what important life lesson did I learn this time around??

Well, I hate to admit it.... and I really really do hate to admit this..

I lack discipline. Yeah, I know surprise surprise, the chubby girl lacks discipline. But hear me out..

What I do possess is strength, courage, and determination. Sometimes I think I would fool myself into thinking these have discipline qualities. Sure, they might... and even sometimes do...

But discipline on its own, in its pure, raw form?

Not so much.

So like most things in life, that tend to broad-side you in the oddest of times, I spring awake on a random Saturday morning at 3:30am, with the knowledge, that something has to give.

Especially for the life that I intend to lead.

In my early 20's - the lifestyle I wanted to lead was fame.
No, not the Hollywood kind...that sort of fame gives me the heebie jeebies.

The respected, oh, i dunno... more behind the scenes fame that say, artists; like painters, writers, or film makers have. Well, maybe not film makers...too close to the Academy Awards and all those heebie jeebie people of Hollywood. Excluding Tom Hanks... I honestly believe he's a good egg.

But I digress... the type of life I now want to lead, has little to do with notoriety, and more to do with being happy, fulfilled, and balanced. Sounds simple right?

HA!

As I get older, I truly believe in the immortal words of Depeche Mode - Get the balance right - Balance IS key.

Sure, this isn't a new concept, and I'm not really discussing anything ground breaking, or cutting-edge.

However there is a VAST difference between talking the talk, and actually WALKING the walk.

We may *know* what we have to do, but actually doing it, is an entirely different beast.

I always hated the belief (especially referring to addictions), that knowing and admitting something are half the battle. PFFT!

Knowing and Admitting are the just the mere beginning, which legitimately might be overwhelming for someone trying to kick drugs, sex, or alcohol... but let's be honest.

I have known for years, a) what a balanced diet looks like, b) the outcome of abusing your body (be it intoxicants, bad food, smoking, etc) , c) the benefits of daily exercise and d) the benefits of ample rest.

Does this mean I have done any or all of these things for most of my life?

Heck no. Because, as ambitious or determined as I have been in my life, I lacked true, raw discipline.

Like most things in my life, I meet them with a kamikaze, extreme attitude. I eat super healthy for say... a week, two weeks, an entire month, and then BANGO - I have a bad day, pms, a celebration, and there I am indulging in whatever the pleasure of the month I have at the time. (Although the safe bet is ice cream)

Of course, this lack of discipline also has another big implication in my life. Like attracts like... So how many people in my life do I have that ALSO lack discipline? Now this isn't to put ANY of my wonderful friends or family down... Not in the least... but I would bet that the people who DO have discipline in my life would probably just 'magically' be more present if I decided to suck it up, and kick my butt into shape (in all senses of that word).

I definitely do know some amazing people, who have broken away from life, and blazed a path of discipline, dedication, and determination - and of course, are making a WONDERFUL life for themselves. (One of the best examples being my best friend and now architect).

I also don't think its mere coincidence that there are more and more people coming into my life in my friend group that seem to be going through a transformation themselves. Be it, setting the goal to lose weight, getting in shape, or honing their craft in their chosen career path.

So... my message to those folks that have, like me, started to shake up their world, and apply discipline in their lives... KEEP GOING!

We're on the right path, and it's no wonder we are suddenly in the forefront of each other's lives... We're here to support each other, and to be each other's cheering section.

We can do this... ....

Its just going to take some discipline.